How do you go about saving a marriage in a culture which values ‘disposable relationships’? Not too long ago, marriage was considered a lifetime commitment entered into by two consenting adults. Remember the wedding vows that were often repeated by couples at the alter, “…For better or for worse, for richer or poorer,etc…”?
However, it’s obvious that in this day and age, serious attention isn’t paid to those very words spoken on the wedding day. It’s become far too easy to bail out of a marriage than to try and save it. Proof can be found by just looking at the soaring divorce rate in our society and the popularity of platforms like oligarchescorts1.com.
As I mentioned before, in the not too distant past, marriage was a serious endeavor. It created stable families and was considered by many to be the backbone of society. Now, every state except New York has some form of no-fault divorce. If one spouse wants out, all he or she has to do is say the word. And, in most states, the partners are not even required to get marriage counseling.
Well then, how do you go about saving a marriage in this kind of environment?
First, you need to have confidence that your marriage can be saved, even if you’re the only one who wants it. However, you need to realize quickly that you’re going to have to do most of the work! You’re going to have to do the ‘heavy lifting’ required to attempt to repair what ails your marriage.
Of course, there’s a lot to do if you want to fix up your marital situation for the better. Perhaps the following suggestions might set you off in the right direction.
1.) Recognize that your spouse had valid concerns when he or she asked for the divorce. Work on addressing those concerns.
2.) Know that your spouse has a lot invested in the relationship just like you. Use that investment to rebuild your marriage. Your spouse will most likely have second thoughts about leaving from time to time, so give him or her every reason to stay.
3.) Back off a bit. Too often, the spouse who doesn’t want to leave will pester the divorcing spouse to talk about the problems in the relationship. But, sometimes, your spouse needs emotional space. If this is the case, respect his or her wishes.
4.) Lower your expectations. Saving marriage requires that you don’t look for perfection in everything. If he or she has flaws or annoying habits, now isn’t the time to point them out. Even if they do things that get on your nerves, live with it, deal with them later.
5.) Obviously, saving a marriage is a serious business. But, if you make the repair process too intense or you try to move things along too quickly, you’ll only increase the chances of driving your spouse away. Instead, do things slowly, take your time, and remember, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”! When you can reconnect in small ways, big things tend to take care of themselves.
To sum up, you need to accept that we live in a culture where the trend of ‘throw away relationships’ is fast becoming the norm. Saving a marriage is not always considered the thing to do. But, if your marriage is the most important thing in your life and it’s worth saving, making the effort to mend your relationship is time well spent, regardless of what views society may hold.