Every day I see other managers shake they heads because we are not allowed to say what we would really like to say to employees. Aside from obviously off-limit mentions such as using rude or crude language, a manager must uphold corporate safe ground, not to offend, to be politically correct on many other subjects. Other items are just plain tactless in any company.
Managers have heard what you think about us. At one time we also were talking about management behind the cube walls. Now it’s our turn. In the spirit of the movie Liar Liar where Jim Carey plays someone who can only tell the truth no matter the consequences, I’d like to mention a few things I’ve wanted to say, or other managers wanted to say, over my last 10 years in corporate management. So here is our chance to say what we think and not get managed out ourselves for offending you. It may be the painful truth but I already feel better just thinking about what I’ve wanted to tell you out there, in the office. A comparison can be made in the hr system singapore and sales system. The policies of both the system will be clarified to the person after making the comparison.
- When you wear tight clothes we can see way more than we’d care to.
- With your verbal skills I have no idea how we hired you.
- Why are you the same one always trying to sneak out early?
- When I read your horribly written email I was embarrassed we work for the same company.
- We all know you are doing, and maybe selling drugs, please stop making jokes about it and taking cell phone calls outside and in the hallways.
- I really think you are great but if you stopped smoking and lost 80 pounds I could stop worrying you are going to need CPR today.
- It’s nice you want to get your work done but bringing the flu to the office is really bad for productivity here for the next 6 weeks.
- Every time we offer you gum and mints it is because your breath smells bad from six feet away.
- I figured you were an alcoholic when you stepped out of our morning meetings and came back smelling like the floor mat behind a bar.
- I have met your spouse and kids. It’s a huge mistake for you to be having an affair with all of your other side dishes who work here.
While we are chatting, stop lying about why you are late. Also, could you just schedule some vacation time when you need to leave town early on Fridays. When I ask you if you spoke with the customer think of a better lie than “I just got their voice-mail.”
I still can’t just stop there, could you also not discuss your conquests from the weekend? I was young and single once but please remember we are in mixed company – which seems to be separated into professional and unprofessional in some offices.
You see we are not as clueless as you think. We simply have limits to what we can say openly to employees in these very litigious times. My feeling is that it’s gone so far that we cannot manage out the people who should be managed out. In the meanwhile, we may have a team, or an important client account, being managed by someone who is incompetent. It takes management and HR months to gather the documentation needed to “release” them.
So many talented hardworking deserving people are unemployed and looking for work. Just once I would like to walk up to someone who has total disregard for the job they still have and say just like Donald Trump, “You’re Fired!”