I have always been partial to relationships, and, how they work. What keeps them ticking? What ignites and re-ignites the “spark”. What brings them to a halt quicker than an egg being thrown at a brick wall? Many answers have arisen to these very simple questions. Who’s to say that any of the answers are incorrect?
Imagine yourself out on the town with your friends, and you’re throwing a few back. Trying to loosen up a little bit. You happen to look over and notice a beautiful woman blissfully looking at you. You know she’s looking at you, because, as soon as she notices she’s been caught she quickly looks away in embarrassment.
A few clock ticks later you rack up the nerve to purchase an extra beverage and leave your friends behind. The closer you get to her, the faster your heart beats. You start asking yourself a million questions such as; “How do I look?” “What do I say?” “Does my breath stink?”
Fast forward a few weeks. Now you have your first real date with the beautiful woman you met. You’ve gotten all dressed up, your hair is perfect and your cloths are sharp. You do one last breath check with your hand as you walk out the door. On your way to pick her up you start to conjure up ideas about how to make the night perfect and memorable. This is what I refer to as “the bait”. Once you’ve had that special night, you believe the bait is out there.
Fast forward a few months, everything is going great. You two are having date after date, and as a romantic gesture you provide flowers or chocolates prior to each date. You begin to ask yourself if she is the one. Your soulmate? Just as you ask yourself that very question, something seems different.
You look back and compare the way things were in the beginning to the way things are now. There aren’t anymore flowers or dates. You rarely call her and you don’t feel as if you’re as close to her at that very moment as you were in the beginning.
This is where “I got the girl/guy syndrome” is first realized. It’s simple. You do everything you can to attract the significant other, everything you can to make yourselves “official and exclusive”. Once you’ve accomplished that your brain and hormones settle down and you start missing important things that you used to do. Small stuff that used to make her smile. In a sense your relationship feels “old”.
If you forget where you started then you have no clue where you’re headed. Take a step back and re evaluate the little things as you once did. Here is a prescription for a dozen roses, candle lit dinner and a movie to spice things back up.